I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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