doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
