Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Life is so much better after having sex.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
