dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
