Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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