What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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