he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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