How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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