i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
