What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
