you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
