THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
