I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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