My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just want to make out with him forever
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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