Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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