I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
