she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
