i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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