Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
