im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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