I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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