he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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