Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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