you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
