May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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