Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
