Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
