No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
