So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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