How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
