you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
