She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He felt like a one man threesome
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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