OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
