I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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