You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
