are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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