I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
