so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
