Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
