I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
