well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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