I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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