Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
