we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
