I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
