The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
