I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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