just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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