she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
