why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
