he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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