I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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